These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend
~Precious Illusions - Alanis Morissette

Give me fuel
Give me fire
Give me that which I desire!
~Fuel - Metallica

The show was great! Except for the fact that they guys like to turn their guitars up so it makes it hard to hear my friend, Pat (I‘ve changed her alias to Pat because the other sounded wrong but she does remind me of Pat Benatar, tiny, spunky and fiery). And damn, can that girl sing!!...at least when I could hear her. The guitarist has a big time ego for a small time guitarist. Therefore, he will be EgoBoy, if I ever refer to him again...heh. The man is really disgusting in his treatment of people, women especially. But none of this is new to me. Kyla’s dad was in a band for many years so I know how some musicians. The bassist is Pat’s boyfriend and I’m surprised he would turn up on her and drown her out, or let it happen for that matter. The drummer, now he is a different story...

I met all of them the day I got my Marilyn done. The drummer was very friendly, asking Pat who I was and shaking my hand. I will call him Scott. The guitarist was just not going to bother with me because, well, he’s an ass and that was obvious. Scott though was really cool, asking me if I grew up here and did I have any sisters because I looked familiar. He’s one of those rare people I enjoy being around because they don’t make me feel like I’m an outsider, like they are really listening to what I’m saying. And fine...I mean DAMN FINE!! Tight little body, beautiful teeth and smile...just nummy looking! A total Beautiful Baby...model beautiful...movie star beautiful. I’m sounding shallow but really I’m not. I’ve known some gorgeous on the outside people who are real shits and Scott wasn’t like that. The other guys in the band were in the dinning room and he was in the living room talking to Pat and me. To sum it up, he was extremely lickable...er, likable.

Saturday was the show. I got to Pat’s early (gasp!!) and we sat around talking for a bit, reassuring each other that we looked damn good and me reassuring her that she would do great. I don’t know that I helped any but I really did try. Sometimes people are just going to be nervous and there is nothing that can be said to help. Personally I was also nervous. It's been quite a while since I've been out and I don't trust my social skills much.

The other guys get there, Scott and EgoBoy, and I find out we are riding in the extended cab truck that belongs to EgoBoy. Yippee! I get to haul my big butt into the back of this truck in front of everyone, literally since I was lucky enough to be the first in. Bam....my big ass! Well, I didn’t fall or anything else equally terrifying and I managed to get in without too much effort. Yeah me! Then I see that I get to sit directly behind EgoBoy, whose seat is back and laid down so far that it looks like he has been sleeping in his truck. And does the jag off offer to put it up even a little bit?! Hell no...cause he is EgoBoy and no one exists but to pleasure him. Yes, EgoBoy who wears a hat ALL THE TIME because he is going bald and thinks people are too stupid to know why he wears it ALL THE TIME....EgoBoy. (Personally, I don't mind baldness, but I do tend to like guys with long hair.) Scott sees EgoBoy’s discourtesy and offers to sit in that seat on the way home. Me, with my masochistic, eager to pleaseness, says, “it’s not that bad, I’m fine.” I wasn’t going to complain because dammit, I was going to have fun, even if it killed EgoBoy. I’m sure he WANTED me to ask him to put it up, but why give him an opening to be an ass. As soon as we get going EgoBoy lights up something that would put us all in jeopardy if we were pulled over. Okay, it’s his truck, what can I do? Two minutes on the highway and there is a cop behind us. Of course everyone is paranoid about this. EgoBoy turns to me (actually he just had to tilt his head back 1/2 inch) and tells me there is air freshener in the jacket hanging next to me. So I start looking for it just in case and there is nothing in the pockets. When I tell him this he says, “no, it’s on the floor right next to your feet.” Of course, I have to laugh out loud because I can’t even see my fucking feet or bend down enough to even reach below my knees!! EgoBoy...Inconsiderate Moron Extreme!

We get to the club, the guys set up and we wait until they are ready to play. I had a beer or two just to loosen up a bit. (Being with the band perk #1: My beer went from being $2.75 each to $1.75 when they realized I was there with Pat.) Pat goes into the bathroom to put on her make up, driving several women to use the men’s room because she was in there so long. This is not really a small bar and there is only one bathroom. Not very good planning. It’s a nice place though although a strange set up. The band plays in an open loft area on the second floor above the bar.

People started showing up. Some people from Sedalia were there and Pat introduced them to me. Nice, fun people who I went back and talked to several times during the night. Right before sound check I’m just standing around in a cluster of people including Pat, Scott and the people from Sedalia, drinking a beer when Scott says to me, “I just wanted to tell you, and I’m not hitting on you or anything, this is my first beer, but you have really beautiful eyes. You have eyes like this checkout girl at Woods (grocery store) and that was why I asked you the other day if you had any sisters. I’ve always loved gray eyes.” Uhh...uhh...okay. I think I said “thanks” or at least I hope I did. I possibly just said “okay.” Had he not spoken to me or even looked at me the rest of the night, it would not have mattered. Just on those words alone I felt like...like...a real live girl! A pretty girl, or at least a girl with pretty eyes. My self disdain wasn't totally erased. But really, it doesn’t matter what I said or didn't say, because it got better...much better.