SIGHTS: Sunnydale High Yearbook ~~ Christopher Golden & Nancy Holder
SOUNDS: So Much For The Afterglow ~~ Everclear

I remember we could talk about anything
I remember when we used to want to hang out
We never talk about the future
We never talk about the past anymore
We never ask ourselves the questions to the answers that nobody even wants to know
Oh well, oh well, oh well
So much for the afterglow
Oh well, oh well, oh well
Yes I guess we need the drama
So much for the afterglow
~So Much For The Afterglow--Everclear

I take your word like it was gospel, I'm so eager to please
Yeah I like it when you talk to me
It feels so good inside your shadow, it's the place I need to be
Yeah you know I need to climb you like a tree
There is this place inside where all the good things die
Sometimes I feel like a whore
I hate the way I am around you, I'm so nervous and weird
Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing underwater
You treat me like I am on fire, like I'm something to eat
You make me hate what I see when I see me
~You Make Me Feel Like a Whore--Everclear

I did it to myself. I said out loud that I was happy. I even wrote it down here.

After getting out of the shower, I cracked the door a bit and told the kids to get ready to go because I was almost ready. Nick yelled back from the bedroom, “I’m on the phone with my dad.” Fuck.

I just wanted one day. One....day. Luckily for me, his wife was there and he didn’t ask to talk to me. Not that it matters. The damage was done. I used to think we had a psychic type connection between us. At one point it was a warm fuzzy type connection. Something that made me feel good. Then it didn’t and I hated it and I didn’t believe in it anymore because it was too painful. And now, I wonder. I wonder if it’s still there, all ugly and polluted, winding its way the 60+ miles between us, telling secrets and sounding alarms. Not believing in it hasn’t made it go away.

Nah...silly stupid girl. He just wanted to talk to Nick on this one day of happiness I was going to allow myself. That’s it.