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I haven't been able to update because of internet problems. Don't know what the hell is going on but I keep getting "page not found" shit! And now that I have finally gotten on, I'm to damn tired to go over everything. I'm at that "tired all the time" place that I hate so much! I just wanna sleep and sleep and sleep and not dream. Example of how things have been: Today I went to send in my work, which I do via phone line, and there was no dial tone. I checked the other phone line...no dial tone. I, of course, panicked. The thought of having to call work and tell them that I had all these reports typed out, some that were three days old, but could not send them in, and the fact that I wouldn't get paid for my whole day of work, drove me to have a panic attack. I grabbed my sister, who was walking out the door to leave, and told her we had no phone. My first thought was that she did not pay the phone bill. Actually, that was my only thought. Luckily she had her cell phone and was able to call the phone company. It was turned back on within an hour. My sister said that the phone company had made a mistake, which everyone knows NEVER happens (insert sarcasm). It worked out in the end but the fact is, it just makes me think about how much I hate having to rely on other people to do what they are supposed to do. I'm not saying that she didn't pay the bill. I'm just saying it made me think about things and how I have hated the way things have been going for so long. I also got my W-2 and in comparing it with my income from two years ago, I'm making $10,000 LESS than what I made this year. And on THAT note, I don't know what else to say except, goodnight. Whoa! Hold on! SYBIL...I know where you're at honey...and I'm sorry you are there. Internal conflict sucks ass and you can quote me on that. I wish as much for you as you do for me the ability to erase those eyes from your mind and heart. I wish things were easier. Not always easy, just easier. Wouldn’t it be nice?! I’m here for you always....... *********************************** Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth? You act like you never had love And you want me to go without Well it's Too late Tonight To drag the past out into the light We're one, but we're not the same We get to Carry each other Carry each other One Did I ask too much? More than a lot. You gave me nothing, Now it's all I got We're one But we're not the same Well we Hurt each other Then we do it again You say Love is a temple Love a higher law Love is a temple Love the higher law You ask me to enter But then you make me crawl And I can't be holding on To what you got When all you got is hurt "One" ~ U2 |
